Old Barbarian’s Dreams & Visions

“I just don’t understand how I can exist in a world in which my Father does not exist?� Response: “That is a something that never goes away and you never get used to.�  - Grey’s Anatomy (May 2007) 

THIS IS PART II of FATHER’s DAY from my previous post: 

            So…, after recovering from a bit of tearful sadness in my heart, I did the typical male thing and said, to myself; “self.., what are you doing crying over a TV show – suck it up man!�    Then my thoughts wandered back to the final words in the Grey’s Anatomy scene, and I chewed on them a bit.  In pondering those lines, I began to think on God the Father (my REAL Father).  The question I then asked myself was…, “How can I exist in a world in which my real father does not exist?�

             Simply put – I cannot!  By that I mean I cannot truly exist as a spirit man or being with a soul - without Him.  My opinion is that God deals with us on a spiritual level & very rarely – if at all in our lifetime will we deal with Him in the physical realm (outside of the beauty of nature of course).  It is also my opinion that our spirit being is really who we are – our bodies are just temporary residences.  Our Father is concerned for both aspects of who we are; but the fact is our spirit lives live on forever; and it is in that realm where we develop & nurture our relationship and intimacy with Him. 

            In recent years (the last 5 or 6), I have done some self-reflection on my life & in doing so, I looked hard at the things that I either made a choice to do or not to do, or the things that have been allowed to happen to me or those I love.  This self-examination came about as a result of a series of traumatic events in my own personal life (the loss of our 16 year old daughter; the death of my father; and other issues).  In the midst of those events my Father (God) revealed himself to me in such a way, that I realized that there is no way that I could exist without Him.  For it was He who sustained me in a way that I, nor no one else ever could have - or did for that matter.  He was the calm undercurrent of the torrent waters that were battering me in the physical realm.

               It was in those times, that I became acutely aware His presence and Love for me; but I also grew exponentially in various ways along the way.  My wife and I grew spiritually, emotionally, and mentally in ways that just blow our minds as we look back. 

            So.., through the odd circumstances of catching a glimpse of a show that I normally do not watch – The Father reminded me once again – That HE is!  However, unlike the character’s comments in the scene, I don’t ever want the feeling of not being able to exist without Him to go away.  I yearn for it - I seek it daily now. 

            So this year and from here on out, until I depart this earth physically; I want to say to my real Father – “HAPPY FATHER’S DAY DADDY!�